Internal Rage

So I realised very recently, that I have a lot of resentment built up.

I didn’t even realise it.

I mean, I did in a way.

Remember when I was doing that Miracle Project where I had to write down everything that p’d me off as though I was thankful for it.

It was then that I realised, I actually had A LOT to write down.

But back then it was all about one main topic.

Now, I’ve put that topic to rest and I felt like I was ‘whole’ if you’d like and then it’s reared up that in actuality, I still have a lot that I’m resentful towards – but they are mostly relationships with other people.

I’m angry at quite a few people in my life and… who knew?!?!

So, I’ve been working through this resentment and realised – as the quote goes “anger is like taking a bite of a poisonous apple and expecting the other person to die”.

That’s exactly what I was doing.

I was so angry at these people and so resentful and deep deep inside I actually literally hated them (not all the time, but at some times) but they were OBLIVIOUS!

It hurt no one other than me!!!

That internal rage was eating away at me only. I was getting cancer from THEIR behaviour (or rather, the fact that I never spoke up about their behaviour to be more articulate)

But I can honestly say now, I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

It’s exhausting.

I don’t want to live like that anymore.

I don’t care how they’re doing or living. All I care about is that sick, stressed, anxious buzz that seems to permeate my solar plexus has got to go.

I’ve worked on it. I’ve felt it. I’ve released that feeling and I feel better for it.

And I want to double down on it.

For all those people out there, even though you probably don’t know who you are… I forgive you.

I will change toward you.

I will no longer allow you to cause my pain.

I will not put up with any bullshit you send my way.

I will move on from you and let you go.

But… I will not be angry with you. I will not resent you. I will forgive you – so that “I” can move on with MY life.

I want an energy and a life force that exudes from every cell in my being. I want to walk into a room like a literal sun beaming out the most positive and uplifting and high energy vibration possible.

I want to be my best self in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally – everything

And I cant do any of that if I remain where I’ve been stuck these last few years.

Look at the things that upset you, that you bear a grudge with, that when you talk about your voice raises or wobbles… feel it, feel the anger, the hurt, the disappointment… and then let it go. For your sake. No one elses. Do yourself the favour and give yourself peace!