I want a Do-Over

A good friend of mine unexpectedly lost her husband.

A couple of months later, we were running together, chatting about nothing.

She asked what my dinner plans were, and I told her ‘hubby wants chilli’… but I didn’t feel like stopping at the store.

We ran a few more minutes…

Then without even looking at me while running, almost as though she were talking to herself, she quietly said ‘make the chilli’.

It took me a few minutes to realise we were no longer talking about dinner. It was about going out of your way to do something for someone you love because at any moment, they could unexpectedly be taken from you.

So today, I’m sharing with you that wisdom handed to me by my friend.

Next time someone you love wants to go for a walk or watch a football game or play a board game or just put your phone down and give them your undivided attention, just do it.


As part of my job, I hear women continuously complaining about their marriages, other relationships too, but mostly marriages.

Makes sense right, you’re with that one person for a thousand years (hopefully) and you eat with them, sleep with them, sometimes work with them, parent with them… they are your Siamese twin basically, so it’s no wonder that it can get a little old right?!


If you take the time to see them, really SEE them for who they are, for who you know them to be, the kind, caring, loving partners that you know they are; the sometimes faulty parent who loves their children dearly; that annoying mummy’s boy who loves someone more than he loves himself; the husband who gives up his down time to join you at a couples night with ‘your’ friends… then you might actually remind yourself of why you are in love with this person after all.

Forget all your grievances, I guarantee you that tomorrow, if you found out they were leaving you or they got cancer or hit by a car or had a mental breakdown – whatever scenario you care to create – you would WISH that you could go back and truly appreciate every single second you had with that person.

You would want a DO-OVER.

So please, take your focus off how he won’t put his shoes away when he takes them off or that he says he’s going for 1 drink and goes for 10.

Let him live his best life.

Love that he lives his best life!

ENCOURAGE him to live his best life!

Don’t you want that for the man you chose to marry?

Don’t you want that for the father of your children?

Don’t you want that for the man you love?

For him to be happy. Genuinely happy.

Don’t you want a husband who CHOOSES to be home with you instead of coming home because he knows he ‘should’.

Don’t you want him to be genuinely happy, smiling from ear to ear, bouncing through the door to see the love of his life? They say ‘happy wife, happy life’ – what is there for the husbands?

Energy goes where focus flows.

If you focus on what it is you love about your partner, it can only do good things for your relationship.

Two pillars in the middle, cant hold up one roof – they have to be in separate corners. Just like fire isn’t able to start without a little air flow.

You need to let your partner be their own person and while they are doing that - You need to go and be your own person.

Figure out who you are, light your soul up with things you enjoy, be genuinely happy, feel fulfilled and complete – then come back together and reconnect.